“Chappie” Review

Premise: A police robot is stolen and completely reprogrammed by a young inventor and a trio of gangsters. They name their new robot Chappie and teach it to fight.

Eons ago, in a time called 2009, there was a little film called District 9 that took the world by storm. It was a terrific movie, with solid action, great visual effects (and on a low-ish budget, no less), and introduced the world to actor Sharlto Copley. But none of that would’ve been possible without the direction of first-timer Neill Blomkamp. He directed District 9 so well, and I thought he was destined for greatness. Well, Blomkamp’s follow-up, Elysium, really put a damper on those expectations. It wasn’t horrible, but was definitely a step down from District 9, not to mention feeling almost exactly the same. When the first trailer for Chappie hit, I wasn’t too impressed, but I kept an open mind and tried to be optimistic. Looks like most people didn’t have high hopes, because despite coming in number one at the box office, Chappie took in a pretty weak hull of $13 million. To add insult to injury, it’s been receiving scathing reviews. Yikes! But if you don’t want to take the professionals’ word for it, you can take mine.

Just to let you guys know that I’m not being harsh, I’ll start with the positives. Neill Blomkamp has always had an eye for visual effects. Nothing more needs to be said about District 9, and even though I didn’t like Elysium I have no trouble admitting it was visually gorgeous. Chappie‘s not quite as effects-heavy as his previous work, but it’s a success on that front. The coolest thing was Chappie himself. Even though I found him annoying as a character, I did buy that he was a living, non-breathing thing that could conceivably walk the streets in the future. Also, as overused as it is in Blomkamp’s work, futuristic South Africa always looks good. There’s also some very good action, albeit not as strong as and less consistent than Blomkamp’s previous films.

Unfortunately, the visual brilliance of Chappie is bogged down by a lot of problems. The biggest was the characters. I already mentioned how I found Chappie annoying. He acts more like an annoying comic-relief sidekick than the hero he’s supposed to become, but he’s only the tip of the iceberg. Chappie indulges in one of my biggest pet peeves; casting non-actors who clearly didn’t take any lessons. I would’ve been fine with members of Die Antwoord having cameos, but they did not work as major characters. They gave horrible performances, not helped by their grating accents (apologies to South Africans everywhere). The worst part? They never go away, and they’re always there push the ostensible deuteragonist (AND ACTUAL ACTOR) Dev Patel aside. Ugh! However, I don’t blame them. They were doing the best they could with no experience. You’ve got to look at Blomkamp, who seems obsessed with putting his favorite rappers in big roles (Elysium was originally supposed to star Eminem. Try picturing that!)

Chappie also has a major identity crisis that it can’t shake off. On one hand, it’s a fairly hard R-rated sci-fi action movie with lots of violence and swearing. It also tries (and fails) to examine the struggles of a robot discovering his humanity. But on the other, it’s embarrassingly silly. Chappie himself is a completely comedic character for a good portion of the film, stumbling around like an idiot like a Paul-Blart ripoff. Even when he has to step up to plate and be a hero, he’s still acts more like a baby than a badass. The result is a story without an interesting protagonist, but with lots of jarring tonal shifts.

Chappie has some things going for it, but the rest of the movie is a wasted opportunity. Bad characters, an unsatisfying story, and a very bizarre tone all make Chappie a bitter disappointment and another miss for Neill Blomkamp. The guy’s a talented director, but he needs to try something new. He should try other genres, direct someone else’s scripts, avoid casting rappers. I even be fine with him staying in the sci-fi realm, but he should really try making his future work stand out from this crap. Here’s hoping his Alien film can bring him back to greatness.

Score: 3.5/10

“Exodus: Gods and Kings” Review

Exodus is a movie that, on paper, has a lot going for it. It’s got a solid cast led by two very talented actors, Christian Bale and Joel Edgerton. One of the writers was Steven Zaillian, known for such excellent films as Schindler’s List and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (the American remake). Finally, it’s directed by Ridley Scott, the man who gave us Alien, Blade Runner, and Gladiator. But Ridley’s recent track record is exactly why my enthusiasm has been dampened. You see, Ridley Scott tends to go in cycles. He’ll do a few good movies, then go through a slump, and then strike gold again. Right now, we are in the middle of a long Scott slump. Whether it’s Body of Lies, Robin Hood, Prometheus, or The Counselor, his recent films have all been disappointments. I was really hoping that Exodus would be different. Those hopes turned out to be empty, because Exodus is one of Ridley Scott’s worst movies.

Premise: Inspired by the famous biblical story, Exodus follows Moses (Christian Bale), a Hebrew raised within the Egyptian royal family. When he sees the suffering of his Hebrew brethren firsthand, Moses decides to get them out of Egypt with the help of God.

Pros: There’s some (and I must stress some) cool scenes that let Scott do what he does best; visuals. His strengths occasionally shine through in the battles and scenes showing the devastation of the ten plagues. It serves as a reminder of what Scott can do, but these good moments are also pretty rare.

Ben Kingsley gives the best performance in a film filled with bad ones. The weird things is he didn’t have to give a great performance. His character, Nun, is not in the movie for very long, and he doesn’t do much other than tell Moses that he is (gasp!) a Hebrew. But Kingsley found a way to make his character endearing and show-stealing. Careers have been built on worse performances.

Cons: Oh, there’s a bunch of stuff wrong with Exodus, but I’ll start with the relationship between Moses and his adopted brother-turned-rival Ramesses (Joel Edgerton). This should’ve been an epic story about two great friends who ultimately become bitter enemies because of their conflicting ideas of who has authority over the Hebrews. Dreamworks Animation did it with The Prince of Egypt, so you’d think Ridley Scott could do it. Wrong! Moses and Ramesses barely have any screentime together, and their relationship is severely underdeveloped. Sure, you get some scenes of them bickering, but you never see them the as loving brothers they once were. You don’t get to see how their relationship sours, because they sort of hate each other from the start.

I bet you thought a cast of talented actors like Christian Bale, Joel Edgerton, John Turturro, Aaron Paul, and Sigourney Weaver could make Exodus a movie worth seeing. I know I did. But if that’s what you were thinking, you’d be wrong. Joel Edgerton looks embarrassed, and not just because he looks ridiculous with that spray-tan. He’s awkward and stilted, something that you don’t want your tragic villain to be. Paul and Weaver don’t do much of anything, and both seem like they just want to get out of here to go to the catering table. Bale gives a valiant effort, but even he struggles with the material he’s given. However, I can’t blame the actors. They had to work with a bad script, and Ridley Scott is not known for being an actor’s director (with a few exceptions). I feel especially bad for Aaron Paul, who hasn’t been transitioning out of Breaking Bad with much success.

You know how I said some of the visuals looked really good? Well, I also said they were the exceptions. Exodus has lots of bad visual effects. The ten plagues and the parting of the Red Sea should look awesome, but they are too often ruined by underdone CGI. Even some things that you’d think would be easier to animate, like landscapes, often look like something out of a mid-2000s video game cutscene. Come on, Scott. I at least expect you to make your movie look good.

Verdict: Despite a good dose of ambition and an excellent premise, Exodus is another failure for a post-American Gangster Ridley Scott. Bad acting, bad effects, and a bad story make what could’ve been an interesting movie a tedious slog. I hope Scott can rebound, but with each bad movie it’s looking less and less likely. Skip this and watch The Ten Commandments or The Prince of Egypt.

Score: D+